iDidn't Save Your Life, So Why Are You Still Here?
by OurLittleCornerOfTheWorld
Summary: What would have happened if that day Freddie hadn't saved Carly's life but then comes the letters telling another story.
1. Chapter 1

**iDidn't Save Your Life**

**Chapter 1**

May 1st was the always going to be the hardest day on Freddie Benson's life ever since that day two years ago when he lost his best friend.

Two years ago this very day was the day that Freddie wishes he could have went back to and saved her for if he had Carly would still be here today. If he had seen it quicker then it could have been him.

He could remember that day in his head...

May 1st 2009.

That morning, Freddie, Carly and Sam had been doing iCarly just like any other day when they put the tv on to the next person to talk to iCarly.

"Hey Carly, hi Sam, this is a dare from Nikki Collins, I dare you carly that is to go out in a pink bunny rabbit suit and offer to brush people's teeth for a $1."

"Okay Nikki" Carly had said looking at Sam then Freddie "Weird dare but alright I'll do it, Carly Shay never backs down from a dare."

Oh if only she had backed down that day, then she would still be alive.

"Okay thank you Nikki, okay guys we're going to finish up iCarly early today so that Carly can do her dare" Carly's best friend Sam Puckett had said and Freddie pressed the buttons on his laptop to switch the computer off.

"Okay now Carly are you sure you want to do this" Freddie had said once he had switched the laptop off and put the camera away.

"Yeah I am, Freddie stop worrying, I'll be fine" Carly had said before her and Sam had went to get Carly into her bunny suit so Freddie went downstairs to see Spencer working on a pizza he was making.

"Hey Freddo, what's going on, iCarly doesn't finish for another twenty minutes."

"Well one of the girls on iCarly dared Carly to do something so that's where they are away to, well to get ready."

"Cool so what's the dare?" Spencer Shay had said turning his back on the pizza before him.

"The dare is for Carly to dress up in a bunny suit and go around outside offering to brush people's teeth for a $1."

"Okay" Spencer had said "have fun."

Freddie didn't have to wait much longer after that before Carly and Sam came down then they went outside and started to walk about.

Carly had got at least ten people to agree to getting their teeth brushed before they had to cross the road.

That was when disaster struck, for as Carly was crossing the road, Freddie had saw the tacoo truck turn the corner but Carly hadn't. She was too busy looking at the guy on the other side of the road.

"Carly look out" Sam had shouted but Carly hadn't heard her.

"CARLY" Freddie had screamed at the top of his lungs as the tacoo truck neared Carly traveling as if in slow motion.

As the truck got closer, Freddie turned away and he saw Sam do the same before they heard the sound of the tacoo truck hitting someone before they heard the sound of Carly screaming as she was lifted up the air then hit the ground again.

"Carly"Sam had screamed so Freddie turned as well to see Carly lying on the road not moving an inch on her side so all they could really see was her bunny ears and the bunny suit but they all knew she was dead.

"No Carly no" Freddie had yelled running over to Carly and kneeling next to her not believing what was happening, Carly couldn't be dead. No it wasn't ture.

The tacoo truck was nowhere in sight now so the driver didn't want to take the blame for doing this.

"Carly no why did you have to die, I love you" Freddie had whispered the last bit as Sam ran over.

"Okay I called Spencer and he's coming down but he doesn't know yet that Carly's dead so come on put her on the pavement."

Freddie nodded standing before putting his arms around Carly and lifting her up bridial style and carrying her away from the scene of the crime.

"What's going on is everyone okay?" Spencer had shouted running over then he saw Carly and stopped where he was just inches from Sam and Freddie.

"Oh my god, Carly are you okay, is she okay, Puckett, Benson is my little sister okay."

Sam had looked at Freddie before finally speaking "Spencer, Carly got hit by a tacoo truck, I'm really sorry but she's dead."

Dead, Dead. That was the word that Freddie did not want to hear, he kept on thinking that Carly would sit up and say in her cute voice "Hey I'm okay see."

But even now, Freddie knew it wasn't possible.

"No" Spencer had said looking at Carly lying in Freddie's arms "Not Carly, not my sister, no."

"Spencer, I'm so sorry" Freddie had said but Spencer had cut him off.

"No Freddie, sorry won't bring back my sister will it" He had said before lifting Carly from Freddie's arms and walking back towards the apparment shouting over his shoulder "Stay away from our house, I don't want to see you guys ever again. You're the reason my sister died."

Spencer had ran off and Freddie looked at Sam "Do you think he meant that" Freddie said but Sam shook her head.

"Of course not, he's just upset, he'll come around, give it a week, you'll see."

**One week later**

It was a week after Carly's death and the funeral was today at noon but neither Sam or Freddie had heard anything from Spencer all week.

"Just go, it's an open funeral anyway" Freddie's mum said as she lay Freddie's clothes out from him.

"Okay mum" Freddie had said looking at the picture of him, Carly and Sam sitting on his beside table that had been taken one year ago.

Once Freddie was dressed, Freddie and his mum met Sam outside who had dyed her hair black.

"Sam you're hair..."

"Yeah, Carly liked my hair blonde but now she's gone and every time, I looked in the mirror all I could see was Carly wanting to brush my hair or just touch my hair so that's why I dyed it."

Once the three of them had reached the park where the funeral was taking place, they could see that millions of people who looked like iCarly fans sitting on the chairs or looking at the coffins saying some final words.

Freddie, Mrs Benson and Sam walked up the front of the entrance before begining to walk and seeing Spencer standing talking to the minister then he saw the three of them and walked towards them.

"I thought I made it very clear that I didn't want to see you guys ever again" Spencer said just as they were about to sit down.

"Spencer I know that you have been through a hard time but Carly would want to see her best friends for the last time, hear their voices for the last time."

"That's just the thing lady, Carly won't hear them, won't hear from the people who are the reason that my sister is dead" Spencer said and Sam shook her head.

"Spencer look I know that Carly didn't see the tacoo truck but you can't blame us for something that we didn't want to happen" Sam said but that was the wrong thing to say as Spencer just got really angry.

"It should have been you" Spencer said before walking away.

It should have been you. Those words were in Freddie's mind all day during the funeral and after it when he went to his room to do the only thing, he liked to do now. Cry about missing Carly.

Today, May 1st 2011.

As 17 year old Freddie sat at his computer desk entering random numbers into his suddok puzzle which he had been doing for the past half an hour, he heard the letter box go before he heard his mom go up to get the mail.

"Freddie, there's a letter here for you. It's from Carly."

"What" Freddie yelled before going up to get it.

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	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

As Freddie got over to his mom, he could see the letter in her hand with the words...

Freddie Benson  
28 Bushwell Tower.

Along the top of the letter then when he turned it over he could see...

Carly Shay  
18 Ashwell Place.

"Mom this can't be from Carly cause Carly used to live in 27 Bushwell Tower and also she's dead" Freddie said but his mom shook her head just telling him to read the letter first before jumping to conclusions.

Freddie opened the letter slowly smelling the smell of Carly's perfume that she used to always wear on the leter but the weird thing was that it smelled really new as if recent.

Freddie finally pulled the letter out and opened it before beginning to read it.

Dear Freddie Benson and Mrs Benson (If you are there)

I am here to say that if you are getting this letter then I will have moved on with my life and it is time for you to do the same.  
I am so sorry Freddie but I can never see you again and I will miss Sam but I have to do this for both myself and my family so don't come after me.  
Spencer doesn't understand but he never has so please tell him, I am so sorry and that I will miss him.

Love you so much and Sam too,

Carly Shay  
31st April 2009.

"What is it Freddie, what happened" Mrs Benson said noticing the tears in Freddie's eyes.

"This letter it was written the day before Carly died and now she's gone and she wants me to tell Spencer that she's sorry but Spencer hasn't spoken to me in at least two years" Freddie said just as his mom shook her head.

"How can that be thought, isn't Spencer the doorman of Bushwell now that Lewbert has quit."

"Yeah but he won't talk to me all I say to him is key 28 and he grunts something about 28 being my unlcuky then chucks it at me."

Mrs Benson shook her head at this then grabbed Freddie's arm and dragged him downstairs to the lobby.

"Mom what are you doing" Freddie said once they reached the lobby.

"We're going to talk to Mr Spencer Shay and set him straight once and for all" Freddie's mom said then marched the two of them up to the front desk.

"Can I help you, oh wait it's the people who are the reason my sister is dead" Spencer said not looking at them.

"Spencer Shay all I can really say to you is grow up and my Freddie got a leetter from Carly today you know your dear sister" Freddie's mom said but Spencer continued to ignore them.

"Spencer please read the note and see how much Carly didn't want to do this, just read it" Freddie said holding it out to Spencer who grabbed it before they heard the noise of it being shreaded.

"Sorry Mr Benson but I can't have rubbish in my lobby so that means clear off."

Freddie and his mom climbed back up the stairs then they turned into their floor to see Sam standing there her now brown hair lying about her as she sat on the floor outside Freddie's room.

"Sam what are you doing here" Freddie said and she looked up with her black mascara running down her face.

"James broke up with me."

James Hanton had been Sam's boyfriend of three months as they had met at a new ice cream pallor where Sam had went to get ice cream for her, Freddie and Freddie's mom then they looked into each other's eyes and fell in love but Freddie knew that every time Sam went on a date with James, she would sit and talk about Carly for ages then James would get mad and smash some things before saying he was sorry but this time it was different.

"What happened?" Freddie said going over and sitting next to her.

"Well me and James were sitting watching Harry Potter and you know how Carly's favourite film was always Harry Potter as she loved..."

"The swish and flick" Freddie and Sam said together laughing a bit but then Sam got serious again.

"Anyway so when that bit came on, I said oh I remember Carly used to love this bit before she died then James got up and kicked the chair then threw the lamp that Carly got me from Japan and that got me mad so I told him that that was from Carly and then he kicked me out and told me we were over then I came here cause I didn't know where else to go cause my mom would never listen to me."

Freddie looked at Sam before he hugged her. Ever since Carly's death, Sam and Freddie had become closer and more like friends so they would confinde in each other all the time about things that happened.

"Well I had an eventual day as well, I got a letter from Carly and it was dated from the day before she died..."

"What seriously have you still got it" Sam said but Freddie shook his head.

"No Spencer shreaded it after I asked him to read it" He said and Sam hugged him as he knew that Sam knew how he felt about Carly and lossing the letter was just like lossing another big bit of her.

"Well come on, I'm going to talk to Spencer again and see if he can change his mind about this."

"Sam it'll be no use" Freddie said but Sam had made her mind up, she was going to talk to him.

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	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

"Spencer" Sam shouted once the three of them reahced the lobby but all Spencer did was look up then grumble something about it being the people who were the reason for the death of his sister again.

"Spencer, listen to me, don't you dare think for a second that, me, Freddie and Mrs Benson aren't missing Carly too cause we are. You don't have to do this alone and shreading Freddie's letter from Carly wasn't cool so apoligise."

"Why should I" Spencer said standing up and coming around to the front of his desk "it's not like sorry will bring my sister now will it?"

"No but Freddie and me are hurting just as much as you and that letter meant the world to Freddie and you killed it. So it was like you were killing just another part of Carly and it's your fault that you didn't think about me and Freddie's feelings as well as your own."

Spencer snorted at this turning back to go to his desk but Sam stopped him again.

"What do you think Carly would think if she knew how you were treating her best firends."

"I'm sorry Puckett but I don't have time for your childish games, I have a hotel to run and I have a guest here, yes can I help you in some way?"

Sam, Freddie and Freddie's mom went to walk back upstairs just as they saw a woman who looked a lot like Carly walk up to the front desk.

"Yes can I speak to Sam Puckett, I have a message for her" The woman said but her voice was different compared to Carly's for Carly's used to be really sweet and nice and soft but this voice had a lot more off an accent on it.

"I'm Sam Puckett" Sam said and the woman handed her a letter just like the one that Freddie had recived then Sam tore the letter open just the woman walked away.

Sam looked at the letter to see it read...

Dear Sam,

Hi, I'm sorry I couldn't give this to you in person but today was crazy enough as it is what with my murder and everything but know that this is the right thing for me to do  
I never wanted to hurt anybody and it's best if I stay away for the next wee while just incase anyone suspects anything. I wish I could go back and start over but it's over  
so thesse are my finally words to you. Keep safe and Freddie too and Mrs Benson and of course Spencer. Never forget me.

Carly,  
1st May 2009.

"Sam what did that letter say?" Freddie said but Sam didn't understand.

"I'm not sure Freddie but I think that Carly is still alive somewhere and I don't know how but the letter is dated for the day that she died and she's talking about her murder as if she knew that it had happend."

"But that can't have happened, we saw Carly, she was dead when we got to her and there was the funeral and then the..."

"But Freddie don't you understand we asked to see Carly's body and the people said that we couldn't for the body had been creamtated, I mean come on who cremates a body before the funeral."

"I didn't understand that either Sam but Carly died two years ago today and there's nothing that could bring her back" Freddie said but by the look on Sam's face, he knew she wasn't giving up just yet.

"Well I'm going to go to the police and see if they still have records for Carly and found out what exactly happened that day two years ago."

Sam walked out of the building and Freddie sighed before going after her but his mom stayed behind to talk to residents to see if they remebered anything that had happened that day.

Well, it was now or never, time to find out what happned to Carly Shay on the 1st May 2009 at 1.15pm.

Review.. What do you think will happen


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

Once Sam and Freddie reached the police station they could see that it was really empty apart from one police officer standing inside looking over files.

"Hi, erm excuse I was wondering if you could help me out here but I was looking for some info about a miss Carly Shay."

"Yeah I know her, sweet kid but then she moved away and I never saw her again."

"What" Sam and Freddie both yelled at the same time whilst the police officer dug out the files.

"Yeah have a look here, Miss Carly Shay aged 17, used to live in 27 Bushwell Tower but now lives in 18 Ashwell Place with her grandad and grandma until her mom comes back from abroad then she'll be moving back to 12 Burnwell Tower."

Sam and Freddie looked at one another, Burnwell was the tower right next to Bushwell and it seemed that Carly was actually still alive.

"So let me get this straight, Carly is still alive and has been for the last two years but she hasn't told us. Does anyone else know that she is alive" Sam said and the police officer sighed nodding his head.

"Yes, a Mr Spencer Shay, Carly's brother also knows infact he was the one who got Carly out of the way in the first place if not, Carly would surely be dead by now."

"Oh my god that idiot, Spencer has been so mean to us during the past two years and infact Carly isn't dead so he was wrong to ignore us" Sam said before saying thank you to the police officer then they headed back out towards Bushwell Tower.

"I can't believe that Carly actually did that but how did he get Carly out of the way without us seeing that it wasn't really Carly" Freddie said as they tunred the corner onto Bushwell Towe and saw the woman from earlier who had given Sam the letter but beside her was...

"CARLY SHAY, I can't believe you" Sam said running over and before anyone else could think about what was about to happen, Sam wacked Carly around the face hard.

"Ow Sam what was that for?" Carly said looking up and Freddie gasped as her eyes were blood shot as if she had been crying but also she was a lot skinnier then two years ago.

"That was for lying to us for the past two years, why did you do that Carly, me and Freddie were wooried sick cause Spencer wasn't speaking to us but now we know why, he didn't want to blurt out the fact that his apparent dead sister was alive and has been for the past two years so that is what that was for."

Carly opened her mouth to say something but stopped again at the look on Sam's face.

Freddie ran up to join the two and whispered into Sam's ear that she should probably calm down, which she did.

"I'm sorry I lied to you for two years but I thought that if I wasn't around then you and Freddie could be friendly towards each other and for the past two years, you have been getting to know each other and confinding in each other."

"Carly you don't know what you did to me and Sam all these years, waking up knowing that we wouldn't do iCarly anymore, knowing that there would be no more random dancing but I never thought you snopp this low. As of now Carly I never want to either talk to or see you again. Goodbye Carly."

With that Freddie walked then two seconds later he heard Sam behind him.

"Freddie I know your mad and so am I but we can't cancel Carly out for ever, she's our friend and I..."

"Oh don't you dare say that you miss her, so did I, I missed her, have missed her for two whole years and now she thinks that she can just waltz back in and you're as good as helping her."

Sam stepped back at Freddie's outbrust and Freddie turned back round but before he could take a step Sam shouted.

"You know you're turning into a sort of younger version of Spencer right now don't you?"

Freddie span on the spot his face heating up with the anger within him before he spoke making sure it was with the best venom he could muster.

"Don't you dare Puckett, don't you dare ever compare me to that moron."

And with Freddie left heading upstairs whilst Sam stayed where she was thumping onto the staircase then heard Spencer shout that thumping was so not allowed in his hotel.

His hotel who did he think he was, Sam said to herself rolling her eyes whilst Carly and the woman who she guessed was Carly's mom entered the building but Carly stopped when she saw Sam.

"Hey Sam, I'm so sorry for what I done to you" Carly said but Sam had had enough.

"You know what Shay come talk to me once you have your facts straight cause I don't want to have to listen to you babble on about how you missed and didn't tell us ANYTHING."

At this Sam took a running jump up the stairs knowing that she was infact going to talk to Freddie even if he didn't want to listen to her which he probably didn't. But oh well.

Review. what do you think will happen?


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

Once Sam reached the floor that Freddie lived on, she saw him having a vey heated conversation with his mum which she knew she shouldn't distrub then Mrs Benson saw her.

"Sam is it true, did Carly fake her own death to get yous two to get along?"

Sam nodded and Mrs Benson clapped her hands to her mouth.

"For two whole years, I thought Carly Shay was dead and now she's back here and Freddie says that she thought she could just pick up from where she left off."

"Yeah Mrs Benson, Carly thought that but she's not getting it to work like that" Sam said just as Carly walked into the hallway.

"Oh look who it isn't" Mrs Benson said going to her son's aid and Sam went to stand beside Freddie "Miss oh I'll just pretend to be dead for two years and see if my two best friends can get along then I'll just pick up from where I started. Carly I thought you were better than that."

"Mrs Benson, I'm sorry that I hurt Freddie's feelings but I couldn't do anything else."

"So that day, when I was holding you, you were still alive" Freddie said stepping infront of Sam and Carly sighed nodding.

"Yes but I was scared of what you would do."

"Carly that's the thing, you were always braver than that and if you just got up that day, me and Freddie would have been jumping for joy but no, you lied to us for two whole years."

Carly went to say something but Sam stopped her.

"No Carly I don't want to hear it and I'm pretty sure, Freddie doesn't either so as soon as you get the rest of your stuff go, I never want to see you again."

Sam and Freddie followed Mrs Benson into Freddie's house whilst they saw Carly head towards her old house.

"Why did Carly do that to us, she could have told us two years ago that she was still alive but no she, oh for gods sake another letter."

Freddie ripped this open with a bit too much force then read it twice before reading it for a thrid time.

Dear Freddie,

I know you must be really angry with me so I'll send this letter before I have to go back with my mum.  
I wanted to tell you years ago that I wasn't dead but everyone and everything just got in my way, I know you can understand that right cause people move on, I know you have but I reget every day not seeing you or Sam and reget not telling you that I was alive and I have one more thing to say.  
Freddie Benson, I love you too. I heard you that day and my choice will never change, I have and always will love you but my feelings for you won't change what I did so goodbye for now.

Carly Shay  
1st May 2011.

"So what did Carly say?" Sam said whilst Mrs Benson looked first at the letter then her son.

"Carly just said that she loved me and she always has."

"So what it doesn't change what she did."

"I know but when you were dating James and he told you he loved you would you leave it alone."

"No but he didn't lie for two years."

"Sam I don't know why but I think Carly survived that day for some reason and I think I know what it is."

"Okay then tell us."

"I think I was meant to die that day."

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	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

"You were meant to what?" Sam yelled as Freddie finished speaking.

"I'm sorry Sam but it makes sense if Carly didn't die that day and you need to stay alive to keep everything going but apart from that I was meant to be the one who went in front of the truck, I should have been the one you and Carly were crying over not Carly herself so we need to re-create that scene and we need Carly for it."

"Freddie are you aboustlety crazy? If you die then I will want to kill Carly myself and I can't be living a life without my friend Freddie Benson" Sam said with tears in her eyes.

"Sam, I have to do this and no-one better stop me."

"Freddie" Mrs Benson said with a smile on her face "I really don't want you to do this but if you have to then I'm proud of you and I love you so I'll miss you so much."

Freddie smiled back and with that, him and Sam headed outside to see Carly standing outside her door.

"Did you catch the message?" She said and Freddie nodded.

"I know it, I was meant to die that day wasn't I?"

"Yes but I didn't want this to happen but yes, it was always meant to be you Freddie."

"Why not me" Sam said nearly crying but she managed to stop herself.

"Cause Freddie's world was supposed to end two years ago so let me tell you this as soon as Fredddie gets hit by the tacoo truck, time will go backwards and it will be back to two years ago so we won't remember anything about the years that we have lived through so are you ready?"

Freddie nodded so the three headed downstairs towards the road.

Soon enough they saw the tacoo truck coming and it was speeding so Freddie hugged Sam and Carly quickly before he walked out and stood exactly where the tacoo truck would hit him then he waited.

Five minutes he waited before he could see the truck right infront of him before the truck hit him hard and Freddie was lifted up into the air and the last thing he heard was Sam's cry of no before he knew no more.

Now he had done the right thing, time could go along as it was meant to. As it was always meant to.

The End.

Sorry it's short but I needed a way to end it.


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